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Whether you’ve just had the revelation that it might be the right time to propose to your partner or if you’ve been trying to plan a proposal for months, it can be intimidating to begin visualizing that moment where you propose to your partner.
There can be a lot of nerves—what if they don’t say yes?
There can be a lot of pressure—what can I do in my proposal that is entirely unique to us & honors our relationship, without being cliche or anti-climatic?
And there can be a lot of anticipation too—I can’t wait to call this person my spouse…
As a photographer who specializes in proposals, intimate weddings, and elopements, I’ve heard hundreds of stories about proposals, and I’ve realized that there are three aspects you should thoroughly muse over before you drop to a knee (or not, depending on your style & how traditional you want to be):
Pro(posal)-Tip #1: Reflect back on the journey that that two of you have been on so far—and consider if there is any way to reflect where you’ve been during your proposal.
You and your partner have been through a lot together to get to this point—from adventures and good times, to struggles and hardships, and everything in-between. You have a beautiful and complex history together which will never be replicated by any other couple out there.
So when you are trying to figure out a meaningful way to propose, take some time to really ponder these memories to see if there are any that you would like to incorporate into your proposal.
How you do so is entirely up to you—but a few examples would be:
→ playing the song that you met during at a concert quietly in the background as you propose
→ incorporating a funny quote from your partner’s Tinder bio when you first matched into any speech you make
→ deciding to ask the question on your way home from spending time with the mutual friend who set you up together
It’s all about finding what means the most to you, your partner, and your relationship—and then involving that in some way.
Pro(posal)-Tip #2: Imagine your shared future ahead—and think about if there is a way to use this proposal as a foundation to start creating that future.
Similar to creating a homage to your post, this tip revolves around thinking forward to the future that the two of you have talked about creating together.
Are there beautiful places you’ve agreed to visit together? A city that you hope to move to in the near future? An activity that you’ve always wanted to try together? Something that your partner has been hoping for that you could arrange as a double-surprise?
By analyzing the answers to these types of questions, you can try to find places or things that your partner has already expressed being excited about—and rely upon them to create an atmosphere of heighted joy.
You can also consider shared values—if you and your partner are hoping to have a family together, then you could possibly involve your families in the proposal since that is an important part of both your lives and your relationship.
Pro(posal)-Tip #3. Anticipate that memories fade and plan to preserve this moment in any way that you can.
Even moments that we never want to forget tend to fade with time, and when you are feel a rush of emotions—potentially nerves in your case or exhilaration & shock for your partner—it can be so easy to get caught up in the moment & not be thinking about how you can best remember it.
There are a few ways you can preserve this proposal:
→ write down what you want to say when you propose to your partner (which is especially great for proposers who feel more eloquent in writing than when speaking). Then you can reference back to these written words in the future.
→ take an audio or video recording of the moment. There’s no guarantee that this will turn out clear—as elements like wind and surrounding noise cannot be helped sometimes—but it gives you the chance.
→ hire a photographer to photograph the moment from a distance—paparazzi-style (without the invasion of privacy!). This can help you maintain an element of surprise, and then you get to surprise your partner once again when they realize that you had the entire exchange photographed.
Want to learn more about how a photographer can photograph your proposal without being noticed—or how it could work with whatever you’re planning? Reach out & I’d be happy to walk you through the whole process!